November 7 I’m a mess!

priority_aces1

priority_aces1

Joined
Dec 31, 2022
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I am writing this because I am down in the dumps , I am trying to understand what and why this happened! My beloved wife and soulmate passed away November 7! . We were married 40 years together for 43 all together! She was an angel of mercy, a nurse by profession. We met when I was 17, she was 20 in college. We were very passionately in love! We traveled some before kids. She was an excellent mother of 2 boys! We lost a child , miscarriage hoping for a girl ! No marriage is perfect but we were close to it! My first born had a Gene disorder called neurofibromatosis. Throughout his life, he had 15 operations because of it. because of the neurofibromatosis, he wound up having three surgeries on one hip. We lost him at the age of 32 in the year 2020 for my pulmonary embolism. My wife took it very hard being a lifelong smoker. She started smoking very heavily during that time. From smoking how lungs were not good, and with asthma COPD, she got hit with pulmonary embolisms after that she caught Covid. how longs were not good this also weakened her heart ❤️! In July 2023 she got sick once more she became overweight, had edema in the legs and became septic. I quit work in order to take care of her as she was on oxygen at this time from there it was a spiral downwards. how longs don’t stop working. The oxygen from how long could not go into the blood, and eventually went brain dead from the CO2 buildup. I loved her very much now I only have one son left me and him together. it’s like starting life all over again with a lot of pain and heartache, and not to mention all the legal stuff I have to do now thank you for listening. I just had to write something down. enclosed is a picture of my wife and I on our honeymoon in Jamaica and another vacation in Hawaii she was a beautiful woman, beautiful heart, and an intelligent mind! I loved her endlessly, and I miss her!

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priority_aces1 said:
I am writing this because I am down in the dumps , I am trying to understand what and why this happened! My beloved wife and soulmate passed away November 7! . We were married 40 years together for 43 all together! She was an angel of mercy, a nurse by profession. We met when I was 17, she was 20 in college. We were very passionately in love! We traveled some before kids. She was an excellent mother of 2 boys! We lost a child , miscarriage hoping for a girl ! No marriage is perfect but we were close to it! My first born had a Gene disorder called neurofibromatosis. Throughout his life, he had 15 operations because of it. because of the neurofibromatosis, he wound up having three surgeries on one hip. We lost him at the age of 32 in the year 2020 for my pulmonary embolism. My wife took it very hard being a lifelong smoker. She started smoking very heavily during that time. From smoking how lungs were not good, and with asthma COPD, she got hit with pulmonary embolisms after that she caught Covid. how longs were not good this also weakened her heart ❤️! In July 2023 she got sick once more she became overweight, had edema in the legs and became septic. I quit work in order to take care of her as she was on oxygen at this time from there it was a spiral downwards. how longs don’t stop working. The oxygen from how long could not go into the blood, and eventually went brain dead from the CO2 buildup. I loved her very much now I only have one son left me and him together. it’s like starting life all over again with a lot of pain and heartache, and not to mention all the legal stuff I have to do now thank you for listening. I just had to write something down. enclosed is a picture of my wife and I on our honeymoon in Jamaica and another vacation in Hawaii she was a beautiful woman, beautiful heart, and an intelligent mind! I loved her endlessly, and I miss her!

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So very sorry for your loss. Right now you need to just take it a day at a time. My wife died from Alzheimers in 2014 - it's not easy but you can do it! Stay organized! Talk with your family too! And find activities that you enjoy doing. Are you religious? Maybe talking to a minister or counselor will help. Best of luck to you. Stay strong!
 
Sorry to hear of the loos of your life, my wife and I are at 43 years of marriage now. Having recently lost my mother and my dad 5 years ago, the sorry will be felt for a long time, but don't let it overtake your life. Talk to family and friends, try to remember the good times and fun you had. Seek comfort in your religion of your faith, as a strong heart ache needs a good support system.
 
There are a lot of things we love and cherish in this life that we cannot hold in our hands, but we hold them very close in our hearts – a million fond memories that bring a smile to our lips and maybe a tear of joy. It is sad if you think that the dearly departed cannot share these feelings, but you must believe that they can and do. Maybe not in the physical sense, but when two lives have had a special bond for forty years, you know deep within that she feels what you feel. Don’t let it be sadness.

We know so little that we must rely on faith in something bigger than life itself.
Respectfully, Terry
 
When my father passed away, in 2021, I feared I couldn't take his loss. Then I realized I was missing him in some weird, tenderly and unexpected way. Wondering why, it looked like he was in me via his gratness. Now I've got his pics and I've been visiting his grave as well, but I'm not feeling any real distance between us. He is always with me, in any moment of my life. I'm pretty sure our loves one, specially those we've deeply understood, will always live with us not as themselves, but as the person they helped to grow-up itself.
Respectfully,

Alberto
 
i lost my mom and dad, my son, my brother, my brother in law most of my cousins, all my aunts and uncles, all the guys i use to hang out with so you just take a deep breath stop and pull yourself together it is out of your hands so it is, oh well so be it. 43 years it a lot to be thankful for and a lot of good. Ev and i have been together 47 years and we are getting old and fighting health issues but we feel grateful for what we have and can not ask for more. When the end does come "well so be it" what you are is the sum total of the two of you so carry on.
 
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...no, you started your way without her in here;
she isn't vanished - only changed to the other side of the curtain. Your lines are so full of Love what you do discribe as she is sitting beside you leading your hand while writing...

Stay in her bright light and thanks for sharing this memories to us...

il_fullxfull.690946080_es2p.jpg

I can only offer Robert Fulghum's lines (and wounderfull books) to you.

And do hope you do stay with us building ships.

Best wishes from Berlin, Christian
 
priority_aces1 said:
I am writing this because I am down in the dumps , I am trying to understand what and why this happened! My beloved wife and soulmate passed away November 7! . We were married 40 years together for 43 all together! She was an angel of mercy, a nurse by profession. We met when I was 17, she was 20 in college. We were very passionately in love! We traveled some before kids. She was an excellent mother of 2 boys! We lost a child , miscarriage hoping for a girl ! No marriage is perfect but we were close to it! My first born had a Gene disorder called neurofibromatosis. Throughout his life, he had 15 operations because of it. because of the neurofibromatosis, he wound up having three surgeries on one hip. We lost him at the age of 32 in the year 2020 for my pulmonary embolism. My wife took it very hard being a lifelong smoker. She started smoking very heavily during that time. From smoking how lungs were not good, and with asthma COPD, she got hit with pulmonary embolisms after that she caught Covid. how longs were not good this also weakened her heart ❤️! In July 2023 she got sick once more she became overweight, had edema in the legs and became septic. I quit work in order to take care of her as she was on oxygen at this time from there it was a spiral downwards. how longs don’t stop working. The oxygen from how long could not go into the blood, and eventually went brain dead from the CO2 buildup. I loved her very much now I only have one son left me and him together. it’s like starting life all over again with a lot of pain and heartache, and not to mention all the legal stuff I have to do now thank you for listening. I just had to write something down. enclosed is a picture of my wife and I on our honeymoon in Jamaica and another vacation in Hawaii she was a beautiful woman, beautiful heart, and an intelligent mind! I loved her endlessly, and I miss her!

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A great loss, I wish you strength going forward.
 
Thank you for sharing your story and your images of you two. I have observed that sharing your memories not only informs others but helps those who have lost a loved one. So I encourage you to continue to share your story of your wife and son you lost.
 
The greatest loss in life…. A soul mate of so many years.
my mom past 2 weeks prior to my parents 61 wedding anniversary. After some time and adjustment, my father considered himself very lucky. That was a head shaker to me at first, his logic was….

He had the honour of marrying an angel
sounds like you did as well
 
I have little to add to all of the wonderful replies your post has received. I lost my wife of 62 years to cancer on October 7. Since then I have tried to cope with her loss by staying as busy as possible, so in one sense my days are full, but in another they are empty since I miss sharing life with her her in so many ways. I just came across this poem which gave me some comfort so am passing it along:

Death Is Nothing At All​

By Henry Scott-Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other,that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it bespoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

Alli s well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Henry Scott-Holland. "DeathIs Nothing At All." Family Friend Poems,https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland
 
Me too, I am very sorry and can only imagine the suffering you are enduring. I am glad that you found that SOS is and can be a comforting place to be. I am grateful for those on the forum that have reached out to you with concerns and thoughts. This is what separates us from other forums. And that is the way I intended it to be.
I pray that the Lord will be close to you during this time. As it says in the Psalms in the Bible "The Lord is close to the Broken Hearted" and that is true. If you haven't or never given it thought. I ask you to lean on God during this time and see if he will carry you through this difficult time. I know it is hard and like I said, I can only imagine what it must be like.
 
Accept my sincere condolences, the loved ones of our hearts who go to heaven leave a void in us that at first seems impossible to fill, but time and creative work contribute to dealing with the pain. Always remember what your loved one would probably want you to continue on the journey you started together and enjoy from your life.
We will be happy to support you
 
priority_aces1 said:
I am writing this because I am down in the dumps , I am trying to understand what and why this happened! My beloved wife and soulmate passed away November 7! . We were married 40 years together for 43 all together! She was an angel of mercy, a nurse by profession. We met when I was 17, she was 20 in college. We were very passionately in love! We traveled some before kids. She was an excellent mother of 2 boys! We lost a child , miscarriage hoping for a girl ! No marriage is perfect but we were close to it! My first born had a Gene disorder called neurofibromatosis. Throughout his life, he had 15 operations because of it. because of the neurofibromatosis, he wound up having three surgeries on one hip. We lost him at the age of 32 in the year 2020 for my pulmonary embolism. My wife took it very hard being a lifelong smoker. She started smoking very heavily during that time. From smoking how lungs were not good, and with asthma COPD, she got hit with pulmonary embolisms after that she caught Covid. how longs were not good this also weakened her heart ❤️! In July 2023 she got sick once more she became overweight, had edema in the legs and became septic. I quit work in order to take care of her as she was on oxygen at this time from there it was a spiral downwards. how longs don’t stop working. The oxygen from how long could not go into the blood, and eventually went brain dead from the CO2 buildup. I loved her very much now I only have one son left me and him together. it’s like starting life all over again with a lot of pain and heartache, and not to mention all the legal stuff I have to do now thank you for listening. I just had to write something down. enclosed is a picture of my wife and I on our honeymoon in Jamaica and another vacation in Hawaii she was a beautiful woman, beautiful heart, and an intelligent mind! I loved her endlessly, and I miss her!

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You are so bold and also correct in writing what you did. One of the ways of dealing with grief is to talk to friends and I think many of us on this forum would count ourselves as friends even though we're spread across the globe and will probably never meet each other. I think I know what you're going through: I lost my wife of 36 years seven years ago to cancer the day after her 60th birthday. I've found that, over the days, months and years you don't quite get over it but you can adjust and live with the void in your life. Keep family and friends close. One of the ways I've dealt with it was taking up this hobby again after decades of not building a model. (Polydoc beat me to it in sending you that poem "Death is Nothing At All". It got me through some hard times). Look after yourself and stay strong.
 
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polydoc said:
I have little to add to all of the wonderful replies your post has received. I lost my wife of 62 years to cancer on October 7. Since then I have tried to cope with her loss by staying as busy as possible, so in one sense my days are full, but in another they are empty since I miss sharing life with her her in so many ways. I just came across this poem which gave me some comfort so am passing it along:

Death Is Nothing At All​

By Henry Scott-Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other,that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it bespoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

Alli s well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Henry Scott-Holland. "DeathIs Nothing At All." Family Friend Poems,https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland
Click to expand...
That poem got me through some tough times when I lost my wife to cancer. Thanks for posting it. I was going to seek it out to do so!
 
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