Take courage, be strong. In the end all should be for the better. A few years ago I had a cerebral aneurysm (actually 3) Saved by an excellent surgeon who's hands resembled those of a cement mixer had an ambition to be a Rock star musician and most importantly was a Rollingstone/Bob Dylan fan. I recovered, had to learn to read complete sentences and focus on everything especially balance. The reason I started ship modelling was to force myself to focus and here I am happily destroying ship models but actually finishing them to an acceptable novice standard etc. Since the operation many endurance cycling events have been undertaken and conquered. Although there are occasional times when I have memory lapses (not quite ga ga, being 78 may have a bit to do with that). So you see my friend, and friends I have never met. Life after anxiety, fear and health setbacks can still be beautiful and fulfilling not to mention, productive. Be strong, there are many prayers and well wishes for you from SOS and I'm sure from family and personal friends. May what ever entity or philosophy you believe in 'Bless you' and 'keep you safe'. My thoughts for you, take care. (please excuse and pardon the rant) Cheers.